Casual post 3: summer!

Spring makes us wait for itself here in the northern part of Europe. Some meterologist just made a timid estimate of late April, which means we're quite literally jumping directly from winter to summer. Weather is such a lame topic, but a cooler climate during spring has meant hot temperatures from June to August, which I'm really looking forward to after last year's modest warmth. I'm so over this cold, and totally ready for all the fun that sunshine and green grass bring.

This year, for the first time after graduating from high school, I'm going to have an actual summer holiday, a total of 30 days of paid vacation! I've spent some lazy moments already dreaming of what I want to do, and came up with at least the following:

1. Go do some reading in the shade of a tree on a sunny day

2. Spend a friend-filled cabin-weekend with sauna, BBQ, swimming and boardgames involved

3. Go on picnics and take a carefully prepared lunch basket with you

4. Buy potatoes, greens and fish from the market place and cook something amazing

5. Do more jogging and gym exercise

6. Be more of a social animal

7. Sunshine, ice cream and more swimming at Häkli beach

8. Visit Linnanmäki amusement park (after a 2 year hiatus)

9. Cosplay Vanellope Von Schweetz at RopeCon

10. Arrange a 40's Hawaii themed barbecue summer-party

11. Wear more lolita!

Lifestyle Lolita



Borrowed from Hearty & Hearty

 The topic pops up once in a while, both online and in conversations. What is it, and what are its definitions? Is it enough to wear Lolita on a daily basis, or does it go to a length where one should also build one's life solely around the fact that one is a Lolita - choosing a suitable job, house, interior decoration, mode of transportation, hobbies and everything else? Most seem to tilt towards the latter, but I think that, while it's completely alright to "lolify" your life, it also shouldn't automatically mean that you have to make compromises and exclude some things you really enjoy, or are convenient. "I really want to take my car, but princesses have to walk or ride a horse-drawn carriage, or at least have their own driver" would be a perfect example. Another pne could be "I want to listen to heavy metal, but that's not loli-compatible at all." The most extreme act of sacrifice would be to shun friends or even love-relationships because they don't fit the bill.

I have no real personal experience of the subject, save through some friends and the rare blog dealing with lifestyling. However, sometimes I can't help but wonder what parts of my life are "close enough"? I make music, I read, draw and write, enjoy tea and picnics, as I've previously stated in an earlier post, but other than that? Well, I suppose some parts of my interior decoration are sort of fitting of the style - my small, red suede-covered couch, red curtains with black tassels, my plushie-filled bed (if I could just get around to finally hanging that curtain-rod and purple curtains in front of it) and so forth. I've never been too much into "nesting", home is a place to relax, it's not a showroom or questhouse for me. I very rarely invite anyone over.

Here's a blog entry called "My week in world of lifestyle lolita", interesting stuff!

What about my mode of transportation? I take the bus or train. So not loli, since the buses are pretty much modern, and the trains don't run on steam. My significant other? Sure, I think he looks like the hunkier type of Disney-male(We've sometimes joked around that he's like a mixture of the Beast and Gaston, the latter of whom he DESPISES with abandon), he does some archery, collects swords and weapons, and even dresses in a gentlemanly way to special events, but other than that...he's more of a cowboy than a dainty prince with silk slippers. My work, then? Well, I suppose a tranquil office job as the school secretary of an upper secondary school of visual arts (some Lolitas actually attend this school) would accommodate me wearing the style, but really - I just can't be bothered to get all dolled up every morning, when the first thing on my mind after waking up is having a bath, eating my breakfast and getting ready to go asap. I suppose I wouldn't make a very good lifestyle lolita, I just don't have the dedication necessary.

I decided to ask some of my friends about how they see LSL.

One friend told me: "I love getting ready and dressed up at my mom's place - it's huge! I think Lolita has affected my taste in interior decoration, and I feel more inclined to dress up pretty whenever I look at the things I have. Then again when I'm at home, I can't be bothered to be all dolled up since only my boyfriend will see me, and when in lolita it's more difficult to just hang around the computer."

Mimi commented:
"It's always been very natural to me, just like for some goths, when the lifestyle just sort of follows along. In a way I don't think I've had to really sacrifice anything, but rather I've added things to what was already there. It's very rewarding. If I'd want to be super-fancy here, I'd say lolita is a continuum of how I live my life."

Katja, on the other hand, said the following:

"I see myself as being somewhere between a basic lolita enthusiast and a lifestyler. Full LSL seems to require some sacrifices, and I wouldn't call myself a lifestyler before quitting smoking, for example (which would be a wise sacrifice for the benefit of health anyway). Lolita is really the only motivator I have to quit smoking I wear lolita a lot more than average, I'd estimate around 4-5 days a week, and I'd like to up the ratio to 7 days a week. I would be interested in moving towards a more LSL direction."

Kati was abundant in her commentary, so I had to put it in a nutshell:
"Lolita has been a life-saver for me, the one constant that's kept me going over the years, when things have seemed impossibly dark. It's a huge part of my persona.  I've got such great friends through this style, and most of my friends are - and have been - Lolitas. I think I don't really do Lolita, but rather perform it in the strictest sense. I try and wear it as often as humanly possible, because I don't feel at home in regular clothing. Lolita makes me confident and it makes me feel beautiful and accomplished. Then again it has demanded some sacrifices, such as time, it's an all-consuming thing."

Marie was also generous with words, so here's her contribution (after I butchered it):
"I don't know if I've got much to say on the topic. I don't really think of myself as lolita any more, but more of a neo-Victorian, which includes lolita to an extent. My style is self-expression, and a natural continuum of my way of life rather than the lifestyle itself. I don't care to follow any holy rules or pick my interests based on lolita, I just happen to also like things that are lolita-credible. The only thing that's LSL about me is the fact that I wear the style every day. At the end of the day, what DOES make a LSL? Do people have to chase some unattainable ideal by changing oneself to fit into it, especially if that ideal differs from person to person?"

Indeed. LSL really isn't expected of anyone, unless the person expects it of themselves. My friends confirmed my own thoughts quite thoroughly. LSL can be a naturally following result from a certain kind of set of mind or something to strive for in order to feel better about one's life, but it isn't worth destroying one's happiness over. What LSL includes may differ from person to person, there really isn't a comprehensive set of guidelines or a global consensus on the matter. Non-lifestylers are not inferior lolitas in any way.

"..What beautiful music they make"

I sing. I've been singing since I was three years old, and haven't stopped since. I sung in choirs, I sung at school and I've been a member in so many bands I've lost count...until I found the one that completes me and allows me to both express myself and develop as an artist.

Embassy of Silence has been in operation since 2007, and we make music that's been described with all of the following adjectives in different reviews:

- Intelligent metal
- Progressive goth metal (Apparently it's enough to have a female vocalist to qualify as "goth"
- Goth rock (I can't understand why, though)
- Power metal (Which we totally are NOT)
- Progressive melodic metal (That's pretty close, I suppose)

I guess It's safe to say we're a tough band to label. We toy around with different themes, moods and music styles and don't really want to sit in one box genre-wise. We, however, describe our stuff as beautiful atmospheric progressive rock/metal. We like to challenge the listener, but also paint sceneries and tell stories. Our albums have been said to "open up slowly", so they last through several listenings and the listener's favourites usually change over time.

I sometimes wear Lolita clothes on our gigs, but not as a means to differentiate, but because they're a part of my persona. I've been saying for a long time that it'd be great to see more Lolitas on our gigs, since I know for a fact that many Lolitas don't just listen to classical music or J- or K-pop/rock, but have more varied tastes.We have closer to 2000 FB-fans around the world at the moment, and I admit, this post is a shameless attempt at getting more listeners. But not just any listeners; Lolitas. I make lyrics and song melodies, and we make tunes that suit different mindsets; we spin stories that take their inspiration from classic literature, movies, legends and more. If there were more of you pretties at our gigs, I'd be over the moon with joy!

http://www.facebook.com/embassyofsilence

http://www.embassyofsilence.net

We're also on Spotify, just search for Embassy of Silence. Our albums "Euphorialight" and "Antler Velvet" are available for listening.

To conclude, here's a few videos available on youtube. I'll mark the ones I especially think Lolitas might enjoy!

Some songs from our first album "Euphorialight"

"The Mercury Lamp" (Lolita-recommended!)

"I Ride Alone"

"Euphorialight" (Lolita-recommended, despite low quality of sound!)

And here's some from our second album "Antler Velvet".

"Unconverted"

"Touch the Zenith" (Definitely Lolita-recommended!)

"Conundrum"

Friendship and lolita

Friends and lolita

I think I wouldn’t be in this style anymore, or at least not as keenly, if it weren’t for the numerous good friends I’ve acquired during the course of the last two years. Despite being in the fashion for much longer than that, I never really bonded with that many people until I got sucked (or suckered?) in the personal lives of some Finnish Lolitas. Sure, meetups might be an ok way to make friends, but most of the actual “getting to know you” has happened outside these gatherings, such as online or during smaller hangouts. I’ve met the most incredibly talented, interesting and ambitious people through this style.

Kaisa (as Sookie) and Illu

Some of these girls (and boys) I see more often than others, but since it is the age of Internet, it’s pretty easy to stay in touch. Sometimes it probably seems to others like a big circle-j*rk with the blog-followings and FB likes, but I’m quite intrigued by this newly found world of girliness. Harmless gossip really is harmless, if it doesn’t sprout drama, which I try to avoid as much as possible.

Some girls flaunt with outfits and purchases, others with high-quality beauty photos, but I’d like to think that what I bring to the Lolita table is what’s inside the clothes. Get your minds out of the gutter! I mostly mean my sense of humour and personality, and even my smarts – they’re my best feature, and I think I value praise directed towards those qualities even more than the “aww, so cute” –type of comments. I don’t really fit the fashion blogger –box, and my friends probably like me for just that. I always try to bring out the person behind the style, whether it be personal troubles people have, being silly, or just the very un-ladylike traits some of my Lolita friends have. That’s the person I make friends with, not the brand items they have or how attractive and porcelain-skinned they are. Kinship based solely on looks tends to get really old REALLY fast, especially with me, since there’s only so many conversations to be had covering the topic of “I ordered a dress” and only so much fun to be had with “we could twin in a photo-shoot”.

This is pretty much how all of my friends act - lolita or not

These days I don’t even really think about whether I look the best in a meetup, or how many pictures are being taken of me. It’s really quite liberating to be able to think I’m going to make new acquaintances or friends and charm them with who I am rather than what I’m wearing. Sure, I put some thought in the coordinations I put together and how I apply make-up – Lolita is still an aesthetic thing – but it’s not the main purpose for me.

I love my friends because they make me laugh, want to see me and depend on me during difficult times, and I want to know how they are and what they’re thinking of. I certainly hope they love me for the same reasons. This applies to the friends I have in my other circles as well, and I love to mash things up during parties by introducing musicians, role-players, Goths and Lolitas to each other. It’s sometimes surprising how much these people have in common – in a way they’re all geeks and misfits in the eyes of the general public. And that’s how I like them.

Borrowed from Kati (Irreversibleinspiration.blogspot.fi)

Purr purr purchases!

Recently I've bought two items from Laura - a black velvet bolero by BtSSB, and an Angelic Pretty Cutsew.

I also bought these awesome chandelier pantyhose that I originally found featured in FB:s Hautemacabre page. Shown here in lower right corner. The other hosiere is cool as well - especially the ones with the letters on them!

I'm already waiting for summer, so I decided to get a pair of cute red summer shoes from Zalando, (click to see what they look like!) since they were having a sale.

Oh, and here's the lovely apron I got from my boyfriend for Christmas, it's by Minna of Sweet-Sweet shop. I honestly don't know if she's still in business or not, but at least I finally got my apron! Sorry for the camera's weird ghost spheres.

I also got these accessories from the Enfant Terrible Christmas gift-swap; a fur-collar, a cameo brooch and a black bead choker-necklace-collar thingy.

HelLoCon

I went to HelLoCon (Helsinki Lolita Convention) that was held at the culture arena Gloria on February 23rd. I would've attended anyway, but got in free because my friend Myrsky organized a panel discussion with the topic "Lolita and feminism", and asked for me to be one of the discussionists. I, Myrsky, Petra, Rithrin and Marie actually managed to make a light-hearted but interesting 45 minutes worth of talk, although we barely got a surface scratch to the underlying issues. Nevertheless we had a blast, and I got to hang out with and meet lots of other friends, such as Katja, Laura,Toni, Minja, Anna, Kati, Mimi, Elfie, Tuulia, Jenni, Jonna and Ilona, despite most of the previous being quite busy with arranging and attending fashion shows and other program that there was a good selection of.

I participated in the drawing competition and won second place (The first place went -deservedly - to the lovely Charlotta, whom I also voted for) with this funny-ish little doodle:

It was superb to see all of you, even if I didn't mention you here, or if we didn't get a real chance to catch up. The Finnish lolita circles are awesome, I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Money money money

Borrowed from the Parfaitdoll -blog

Lolita is an expensive style, even if you've got a job, are adept at making your own clothes or only buy second hand, off-brand or replicas. The way I've gathered it, many Lolitas I know don't have many other hobbies besides Lolita, and have had to give up on things they used to do and love (sometimes this even includes paying the rent or buying groceries) just to be able to afford the things they want. There was a conversation about this in the Enfant Terrible FB-group recently, with the title "how would you spend your money without Lolita?" Some replied that they'd probably use it in other types of clothing, electronics or - like I said, hobbies.

I myself am a busy bee. For a few examples, it's not cheap to go to the gym, my online psychology studies (not to mention the books required) aren't any different, drawing equipment is costly, and by the time I've paid the bills and budgeted my grocery-shoppings, not much money is left for the spending. I only buy Lolita when there happens to be some extra in my account or I come across something I absolutely have got to have this instance. I don't really have the option of "how would I spend my money", when Lolita is just another moveable expense as any other expense. If I wasn't in a band, didn't know how to hold a pen, didn't study or wasn't into sports in any way, I suppose I could be splurging with shopping some more.

The average second-hand brand JSK costs around 100-250€, and I'm a bit ashamed to say I do many of my ex tempore buying with a credit card, which I've very nearly maxed out and am slowly paying off with my meager salary. Why couldn't I just have put the same amount of money aside for later purchases and simply waited? I may be a lot of things, but a very prudent saver I am not. As much as I seem to preach about common sense and moderation in this blog, immediate payoff is sometimes too tempting a thing to pass. For my defense I can, however, say that my credit rating is fine and I haven't gotten into trouble with money. My job is secured for as long as I want it, and although I don't earn a lot, I do get by.

Same isn't true for a lot of people who get caught up in the world of must have and shopping to meet some invisible need. I've read about girls who've gotten themselves in so much debt they couldn't handle it anymore, and some girls pay for their clothes with prostitution. Is it all really worth it? I'm not one of those people who damn prostitution as a profession, but if it comes out of desperation, it's a different deal.

Borrowed from the Kawaii Megami Ichigo blog

Having said that, I welcome myself back in business, and will post some of my more recent purchases soon.