Tuesday, March 26, 2013
A friend of mine recently posted in her FB that she's feeling depressed because she can't afford to buy more dresses right now, and fears that she'll become less popular because of it. I told her that I wouldn't care if she wore a Milanoo plastic lace monstrosity with crocks, she'd still be my friend. Another friend admitted to feeling the same way at times - this really got me thinking.
More dresses = popularity?
Popularity = Self-worth? Justification for being? Filling a void of acceptance?
Why is this style so popular with girls who have severe self-esteem and self-appreciation issues? Depression, obsessive behaviour, eating disorders, suicidal tendencies, panic attacks and a whole array of other mental health problems seem to be more of a norm than an exception with the followers of this fashion. I personally have overcome the worst years, and although I've never been to the really deep end of it, I've had my difficult times. I still sometimes get panic attacks and struggle with my self-image, but it's nothing compared to the trials some of my friends and associates have to deal with.
Unfortunately this fashion also attracts some people with narcissistic personality disorders, and I don't just mean mere vanity and attention-seeking. I mean the kind of deal where someone manipulates others into doing their bidding, making these already beaten-down girls feel even worse, even more inadequate and desperate.
Why does this style in particular seem to harbour so many broken people? Any thoughts?
Friday, March 22, 2013
I have an impressive amount of photos on my photobucket account, and one day I went through all of them. I was surprised to find pictures of things I used to own and things that are still more or less on my wishlist, so I wanted to make a post dedicated to them. A vast majority of these items are from my sweet lolita days, but I can appreciate the old-school feeling a lot of them have, not to mention the nostalgy these clothes and accessories carry.
Some things I had and loved
Including the year I bought them. I'd imagine some of these are still in circulation.
At least I think it was BtSSB. I only wore this dress during one photo-shoot until I switched styles.
Awesome boots for gothic lolita, but they broke about a year after I purchased them, and I just haven't gotten around to buying a new pair.
The same friend that acted as my shopping service in 2007, did the same in 2006 as well, and I got this skirt, which was my first brand item, along with a pair of pink AP socks. The feeling when I lifted it from the pink plastic bag and smelled it was incredible. I'd really want to know where this skirt is now.
...And some things still kinda want
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Edit: I actually just found the belt at my boyfriend's mom's place!
I made this bonnet for my first kuro lolita outfit in the summer of 2008, and I still wear the hat now and then, as it really sets off any darker ensemble perfectly. Bonnets weren't popular at all at that time, but even now, when they're a very common headpiece, my 5-year old hat manages to get compliments and queries. I'm a terrible seamstress, but I must've done something right here. I used a big straw-hat as the base, cut off a part of the trim, covered it with black fabric and added two black roses (also put together from loose petals by yours' truly) and some decorative trimming. Simple, yet pretty.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Spring makes us wait for itself here in the northern part of Europe. Some meterologist just made a timid estimate of late April, which means we're quite literally jumping directly from winter to summer. Weather is such a lame topic, but a cooler climate during spring has meant hot temperatures from June to August, which I'm really looking forward to after last year's modest warmth. I'm so over this cold, and totally ready for all the fun that sunshine and green grass bring.
This year, for the first time after graduating from high school, I'm going to have an actual summer holiday, a total of 30 days of paid vacation! I've spent some lazy moments already dreaming of what I want to do, and came up with at least the following:
Monday, March 4, 2013
|Borrowed from Hearty & Hearty|
I have no real personal experience of the subject, save through some friends and the rare blog dealing with lifestyling. However, sometimes I can't help but wonder what parts of my life are "close enough"? I make music, I read, draw and write, enjoy tea and picnics, as I've previously stated in an earlier post, but other than that? Well, I suppose some parts of my interior decoration are sort of fitting of the style - my small, red suede-covered couch, red curtains with black tassels, my plushie-filled bed (if I could just get around to finally hanging that curtain-rod and purple curtains in front of it) and so forth. I've never been too much into "nesting", home is a place to relax, it's not a showroom or questhouse for me. I very rarely invite anyone over.
Here's a blog entry called "My week in world of lifestyle lolita", interesting stuff!
What about my mode of transportation? I take the bus or train. So not loli, since the buses are pretty much modern, and the trains don't run on steam. My significant other? Sure, I think he looks like the hunkier type of Disney-male(We've sometimes joked around that he's like a mixture of the Beast and Gaston, the latter of whom he DESPISES with abandon), he does some archery, collects swords and weapons, and even dresses in a gentlemanly way to special events, but other than that...he's more of a cowboy than a dainty prince with silk slippers. My work, then? Well, I suppose a tranquil office job as the school secretary of an upper secondary school of visual arts (some Lolitas actually attend this school) would accommodate me wearing the style, but really - I just can't be bothered to get all dolled up every morning, when the first thing on my mind after waking up is having a bath, eating my breakfast and getting ready to go asap. I suppose I wouldn't make a very good lifestyle lolita, I just don't have the dedication necessary.
I decided to ask some of my friends about how they see LSL.
One friend told me: "I love getting ready and dressed up at my mom's place - it's huge! I think Lolita has affected my taste in interior decoration, and I feel more inclined to dress up pretty whenever I look at the things I have. Then again when I'm at home, I can't be bothered to be all dolled up since only my boyfriend will see me, and when in lolita it's more difficult to just hang around the computer."
"It's always been very natural to me, just like for some goths, when the lifestyle just sort of follows along. In a way I don't think I've had to really sacrifice anything, but rather I've added things to what was already there. It's very rewarding. If I'd want to be super-fancy here, I'd say lolita is a continuum of how I live my life."
Katja, on the other hand, said the following:
Kati was abundant in her commentary, so I had to put it in a nutshell:
"Lolita has been a life-saver for me, the one constant that's kept me going over the years, when things have seemed impossibly dark. It's a huge part of my persona. I've got such great friends through this style, and most of my friends are - and have been - Lolitas. I think I don't really do Lolita, but rather perform it in the strictest sense. I try and wear it as often as humanly possible, because I don't feel at home in regular clothing. Lolita makes me confident and it makes me feel beautiful and accomplished. Then again it has demanded some sacrifices, such as time, it's an all-consuming thing."
Marie was also generous with words, so here's her contribution (after I butchered it):
"I don't know if I've got much to say on the topic. I don't really think of myself as lolita any more, but more of a neo-Victorian, which includes lolita to an extent. My style is self-expression, and a natural continuum of my way of life rather than the lifestyle itself. I don't care to follow any holy rules or pick my interests based on lolita, I just happen to also like things that are lolita-credible. The only thing that's LSL about me is the fact that I wear the style every day. At the end of the day, what DOES make a LSL? Do people have to chase some unattainable ideal by changing oneself to fit into it, especially if that ideal differs from person to person?"
Indeed. LSL really isn't expected of anyone, unless the person expects it of themselves. My friends confirmed my own thoughts quite thoroughly. LSL can be a naturally following result from a certain kind of set of mind or something to strive for in order to feel better about one's life, but it isn't worth destroying one's happiness over. What LSL includes may differ from person to person, there really isn't a comprehensive set of guidelines or a global consensus on the matter. Non-lifestylers are not inferior lolitas in any way.