Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Friendship and lolita

Friends and lolita

I think I wouldn’t be in this style anymore, or at least not as keenly, if it weren’t for the numerous good friends I’ve acquired during the course of the last two years. Despite being in the fashion for much longer than that, I never really bonded with that many people until I got sucked (or suckered?) in the personal lives of some Finnish Lolitas. Sure, meetups might be an ok way to make friends, but most of the actual “getting to know you” has happened outside these gatherings, such as online or during smaller hangouts. I’ve met the most incredibly talented, interesting and ambitious people through this style.

Kaisa (as Sookie) and Illu
Some of these girls (and boys) I see more often than others, but since it is the age of Internet, it’s pretty easy to stay in touch. Sometimes it probably seems to others like a big circle-j*rk with the blog-followings and FB likes, but I’m quite intrigued by this newly found world of girliness. Harmless gossip really is harmless, if it doesn’t sprout drama, which I try to avoid as much as possible.

Some girls flaunt with outfits and purchases, others with high-quality beauty photos, but I’d like to think that what I bring to the Lolita table is what’s inside the clothes. Get your minds out of the gutter! I mostly mean my sense of humour and personality, and even my smarts – they’re my best feature, and I think I value praise directed towards those qualities even more than the “aww, so cute” –type of comments. I don’t really fit the fashion blogger –box, and my friends probably like me for just that. I always try to bring out the person behind the style, whether it be personal troubles people have, being silly, or just the very un-ladylike traits some of my Lolita friends have. That’s the person I make friends with, not the brand items they have or how attractive and porcelain-skinned they are. Kinship based solely on looks tends to get really old REALLY fast, especially with me, since there’s only so many conversations to be had covering the topic of “I ordered a dress” and only so much fun to be had with “we could twin in a photo-shoot”.

This is pretty much how all of my friends act - lolita or not
These days I don’t even really think about whether I look the best in a meetup, or how many pictures are being taken of me. It’s really quite liberating to be able to think I’m going to make new acquaintances or friends and charm them with who I am rather than what I’m wearing. Sure, I put some thought in the coordinations I put together and how I apply make-up – Lolita is still an aesthetic thing – but it’s not the main purpose for me.

I love my friends because they make me laugh, want to see me and depend on me during difficult times, and I want to know how they are and what they’re thinking of. I certainly hope they love me for the same reasons. This applies to the friends I have in my other circles as well, and I love to mash things up during parties by introducing musicians, role-players, Goths and Lolitas to each other. It’s sometimes surprising how much these people have in common – in a way they’re all geeks and misfits in the eyes of the general public. And that’s how I like them.

Borrowed from Kati (Irreversibleinspiration.blogspot.fi)

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