I have many names

I thought I'd post something that doesn't fall under the "srs bsns" -category for once. This one is about some of the names and nicks I carry around in the world of Internetz. :)

Tzimisce

As some of you may know, I love pen&paper storytelling RPG. Yeah, the kind with character sheets and dice. I've been especially a fan of White Wolf's setting, "World of Darkness", which originates all the way back to the early 90's. It's a world just like ours, except somewhat more sinister and even gothic, with various supernatural creatures inhabiting it. The Tzimisce are a clan of vampires from the WoD game "Vampire the Masquerade", originally from Eastern Europe. They have plenty of features and abilities in common with Bram Stoker's take on Dracula, and are the quintessential unfeeling, sadistic monsters. The Tzimisce are on a constant quest of metamorphosis, transscending from their mortal coil through experiments into surreal, inhumane (un)living monuments of either horror or beauty, equally as terrible and disturbing. I've always had a thing for the Tzimisce. They are distant and reclusive, and I identify with that. They are the most hospitable hosts, but extremely territorial, just as I am. I find Eastern European cultures and history interesting, so the Tzimisce were a natural choice of focus for me.

Three different takes on the clan from different era setting books of VtM. I love how the dude on the left looks like a used car salesman and the guy in the middle looks like he belongs in a campy Blackmetal band.

Red Panda

On a completely opposite end of the spectrum from the Tzimisce is the Red Panda. She's fluffy, innocent, childlike and very friendly, viewing the world as being full of wonders. She's a part of me I show to my friends, and the closer a friend, the more I show this part of me instead of the regally cynical scientist that is the Tzimisce. The Red Panda has been my spirit animal since 2006. This may all sound schizophrenic to you, but I assure you I'm quite sane. Well, as sane as can be expected, of course. I love the fact that I call my closest friends mostly by their animal names, such as Owl, Squirrel or Badger, and they call me Panda.

Oh hi!

Heetteri

Surprisingly enough, this nick has also started with RPGs. There used to be an RPG chat where I played (again in a WoD setting) an Irish reporter by the name of Heather O'Keavy. I had that character for 5 years, and grew very attached to her. Heather soon became the "Finnified" version, "Heetteri" off-game, and some people I got to know through the game still call me by my nick. I've used Heetteri as a nick in various other places after that, so it still lives on, no matter how outdated.

A commision QueenOfDorks did for me way back. I still get pissed off if someone uses this as their userpic, it's MY PROPERTY, damn it!

Inna or Innah

Welll, my real name's Ines, and when I was little, and couldn't yet pronounce it, I called myself Innah. I told this to my boyfriend, and he's called me Inna for a long time now. This nickname carries a special significance and warmth to it.

Difficult issue: Lolita and weight

Alright. Well, at least we're still not heading into the direction of the gyaru circles, where sometimes anyone normal and even slim are called fat cows. But we do have the horrible name "fatty-chan" that's quite casually thrown around, especially in the secrets of BtB. Granted, most of the girls featured are obese, no doubt about it, and could both dress more suitably for their body type and lose a bit of weight for health reasons, if nothing else.

I've just recently come to the realisation that I myself am slightly overweight, even chubby, and have struggled with doing something about it for a year now. The problem was never that I eat too much, but because, for the longest time, I ate way too little, any pounds I lost with this unhealthy way, came back with interest whenever I began to eat normally again. So here I am, 11kg over the limit of what is considered normal, painfully slowly dropping what I've gained, but at least in a healthy way. Excercise and a balanced diet work wonders, and boy am I glad I've never been a real binge-eater or a huge cookie-monster. The occasional treat is fine, as long as it doesn't involve a chunk of chocolate cake.

However, even when the Finnish Lolita circles are accepting, weighty Lolitas are pariahs on a more global scale. The right way to deal with one's weight issues isn't really to blame the brands for making small clothes - when I was of average weight, I fit brand just fine, just not all of them, and we shouldn't be so judgemental of those who want to alter their brand items to fit more comfortably. The word "their" is in bold, because nobody has to think of resale value, the clothes are the property of whoever happens to have purchased them. This applies no matter how much some people may whine. Like I've said - if I want to take a dress of an extremely rare print and make hankies out of it, that's my choice, although it would show poor judgement.

It's sad that weightloss goes overboard with some Lolitas, and when they want to lose the weight as quickly as possible (as I did earlier), the ways they starve themselves is unhealthy and destructive. No one should do that for something as trivial as fitting into the clothes of an obscure style. The best way to go about it would be to take things slow and stay determined. This simple truth is lost on many younger people who still haven't quite developed the ability to discern the outcomes of their actions. This is not to say that girls and boys under ~25 are stupid or unable to make sound decisions, but neuropsychological development scale with includes the frontal lobe of the brain (the part which deals with these things) is against them when it comes to acting on impulse and not pausing to think things through without emotional disruptions.

I'm not even completely certain what I want to accomplish with this post. Weight-issues are a problem in the western world as a whole, and shuttling through adolescence and youth without some influence and pressure of both media and peers is extremely difficult. It took me years to come to terms with who I am, and I still struggle with not letting my weight affect my self-esteem, and I sometimes wonder how anyone could do that in today's society. Lolita seems to attract many people who have been outcasts and who already try to cope with mental problems, and the norms of this fashion certainly don't help them in any way.

We could try and be more supportive and open-minded; we could try to be a bit gentler with our fellow passengers. Even when the wolves are on our heels as well.

Casual post 2

I've had trouble with my right arm and hand, I was off work on sick-leave for 4 days last week because it was aching so bad. Two of my fingers are still numb, and I'm waiting for them to start getting better, and my wrist's still a bit sore, but other than that, I'm back in the game!

I'm doing a gift-wrapping tutorial for the Advent calendar of Enfant Terrible by drawing, and also adding some pics of my wrapped gifts once I get around to it. I might even post it here, and add translations to English under the drawn tutorial pictures, since the whole thing is in Finnish. I'm going to buy a fake Christmas tree, and should also purchase some decorations for it, since there really isn't a Christmas without a tree for me. I've been waiting for the days to pass so that I can finally start publicly hyping about the holidays.

On a more serious note...
Someone said in their blog that they read the ones with lots of purchase photos and outfits, but I've never thought of myself as one of those bloggers. I'm more in the direction of a journalistic "something to say" -kinda blogger, and since very few Lolita-related blogs are like this one, I find it hard to find an audience. I don't put my whole soul into the fashion, I don't compulsively shop for knick-knacks and shoes to fill a void and feel validated by the community, and I don't value people by how much Angelic Pretty they have on.

Am I alone in the universe of this style?

Styles of a questionable nature

Some styles of Lolita are like the Loch Ness monster or the Abominable Snowman - it's debated whether they really even exist, or what they include. Maybe we're all just so hell-bent on inventing labels for everything that we somehow find it necessary.

Ero Lolita

When asked for a definition for what Ero Lolita is, there seems to be as many views as there are respondents. Some (rarely those long into Lolita as a style) think it's showing as much skin as humanly possible, some say it could be something as subtle as using a certain fabric. I tend to disagree with both of these extreme views, and will now try to outline what I think it is. Yes, showing some skin definitely is a part of Ero Lolita, but not in the "bought this fetish Alice costume from Leg Avenue" -way. If you're going to show cleavage, cover everything else. If you want to show some leg, keep the top quite demure.

We've seen some quite differing takes on Ero Lolita over the years. Some photo shoots would suggest it's ero if you put on a corset and bloomers and parade around, posing in your underwear. But that's not Ero Lolita, that's just pin-up, in my opinion. Yes, even if you put that ridiculous Rococo-style cage-underskirt frame on top. An Ero Lolita outfit could comprise of leaving your blouse at home, to reveal some boob-action. Not enough to shout "hey, look at these puppies", but just enough to be suggestive. Or maybe it's those super high heels in your shoes, paired with fishnet or lace stockings?

Country Lolita

Is it really a separate style, or just another variation of Sweet/Classic Lolita? Country style straw hats, gingham fabrics and picnic-basket accessories were all the rage at some point, but I seriously don't know if that should merit their own substyle all together. As cute, dainty and as rustic as these clothes are.

Bittersweet Lolita

It's pretty much just sweet prints on a black background. Some people insist on making this into a whole new style and calling it Bittersweet. I really don't know what to make of it - maybe we should start calling baby blue Lolita outfits "Sky Sweet Lolita", while we're at it?

Hime Lolita

Stop the press! Lolita can be worn with Hime hair and tiaras or crowns! And here I was, thinking crowns and tiaras can be incorporated with Lolita without it automatically becoming a different style altogether. Not to mention that Lolita's supposed to be somewhat princess-y, with or without crowns etc.