Monday, November 19, 2012

Difficult issue: Lolita and weight

Alright. Well, at least we're still not heading into the direction of the gyaru circles, where sometimes anyone normal and even slim are called fat cows. But we do have the horrible name "fatty-chan" that's quite casually thrown around, especially in the secrets of BtB. Granted, most of the girls featured are obese, no doubt about it, and could both dress more suitably for their body type and lose a bit of weight for health reasons, if nothing else.

I've just recently come to the realisation that I myself am slightly overweight, even chubby, and have struggled with doing something about it for a year now. The problem was never that I eat too much, but because, for the longest time, I ate way too little, any pounds I lost with this unhealthy way, came back with interest whenever I began to eat normally again. So here I am, 11kg over the limit of what is considered normal, painfully slowly dropping what I've gained, but at least in a healthy way. Excercise and a balanced diet work wonders, and boy am I glad I've never been a real binge-eater or a huge cookie-monster. The occasional treat is fine, as long as it doesn't involve a chunk of chocolate cake.

However, even when the Finnish Lolita circles are accepting, weighty Lolitas are pariahs on a more global scale. The right way to deal with one's weight issues isn't really to blame the brands for making small clothes - when I was of average weight, I fit brand just fine, just not all of them, and we shouldn't be so judgemental of those who want to alter their brand items to fit more comfortably. The word "their" is in bold, because nobody has to think of resale value, the clothes are the property of whoever happens to have purchased them. This applies no matter how much some people may whine. Like I've said - if I want to take a dress of an extremely rare print and make hankies out of it, that's my choice, although it would show poor judgement.

It's sad that weightloss goes overboard with some Lolitas, and when they want to lose the weight as quickly as possible (as I did earlier), the ways they starve themselves is unhealthy and destructive. No one should do that for something as trivial as fitting into the clothes of an obscure style. The best way to go about it would be to take things slow and stay determined. This simple truth is lost on many younger people who still haven't quite developed the ability to discern the outcomes of their actions. This is not to say that girls and boys under ~25 are stupid or unable to make sound decisions, but neuropsychological development scale with includes the frontal lobe of the brain (the part which deals with these things) is against them when it comes to acting on impulse and not pausing to think things through without emotional disruptions.

I'm not even completely certain what I want to accomplish with this post. Weight-issues are a problem in the western world as a whole, and shuttling through adolescence and youth without some influence and pressure of both media and peers is extremely difficult. It took me years to come to terms with who I am, and I still struggle with not letting my weight affect my self-esteem, and I sometimes wonder how anyone could do that in today's society. Lolita seems to attract many people who have been outcasts and who already try to cope with mental problems, and the norms of this fashion certainly don't help them in any way.

We could try and be more supportive and open-minded; we could try to be a bit gentler with our fellow passengers. Even when the wolves are on our heels as well.


  1. I really wonder, when it became "accepted" to call people fatty-chans. Or actually, when people started to really thinking about them and really bringing weight into discussions this much. Maybe it's because of brands becoming more the norm. Seriously, back in the day when western lolis pretty much customized or made their dresses I don't remember there being much discussion about this. Of course is was somehow covered in topics about general lolita aesthetics, but quite briefly. Now it seems things have escalated to people constantly thinking what doesn't fit instead of how to make it work. And that saddens me.

    I think showing people how to reach their dreams and goals in a healthy way is great. Right now the atmosphere in international communities is making me occasionally think I'm too fat/tall/ugly/boring to be in this style. Which is quite stupid when I really start to think about it. It's making me question, what I want from this style, when all I wanted was look pretty. Luckily the local communities are often quite a lot more friendly. And, like my boyfriend told me about my desire to wear lolita: "It's okay as long as it makes you happy. After all, they're just clothes.".

    I really like you attitude. I hope more people would pay attention to these texts and random people on the internet would stop hurting others. Of course, that is impossible. But at least they could be frowned upon even more. I just wish people wouldn't take so drastic measures just because someone is being a jerk online.

    Without further rambling, good luck on your weight loss. And hey, I think you look good! Your style really suits you. =) (Sorry about the wall of text not completely related to the entry...).

  2. No no no, I love long comments to my texts, I adore the fact that people think about things and reply with their own opinions. That's the very reason why I write this blog. And thank you for the compliments - I think I would wear Lolita no matter how much I weighed.

    But yes. I also came into close contact with the style way back when brand wasn't the norm, but it wasn't long until the secrets started online and "fatty-chan" became a generic term for overweight Lolitas. It's not cute and it's not appropriate, it's a horrible thing to call someone.